Saturday, 22 November 2014

Camera Roll

I thought it would be sort of cute to fill you in on stuff through showing you the photos off my phone that might be on instagram or Facebook but I don't really share on here and tell you about them a bit. They aren't in any particular order! 
(L to R)

1/ Steph and I at Halloween at James'. She is Frida Kahlo and also a babe. 
2/ Thai July Girls reunion. We went out for Italian and it was the first time I had seen Lis since she left for the airport in Thailand which is completely unacceptable haha. It was so great to catch up. The waiter was hot, the goss was good. 
3/ My beautiful friend Sam as the Field Organiser for Martin Foley, had a bit of celebration for volunteers. Jill Hennessy was lovely enough to speak. I am in awe of the community campaign that Sam has built in Albert Park. This night was just a testament to her hard work in engaging all people from all walks of life in bringing about change and supporting progressive and inclusive MPs. I'm a little too proud. 
4/ My Cousin Harry died a year ago on the 10th would have turned 18 on the 20th of November. I didn't really know what to do or feel or say so I dug up some old photo albums. We were cool kids back in the day :)
5/ I've been packing, aka. throwing out everything I never use. I found this necklace that my Grandma gave me in a jewellery box and it made me smile in a pretty sad ten days. 
6/ The State Election is in less than a week now, so last week the Monash ALP club was out in force to letterbox for Gavin Ryan, who is running for Burwood and is a former MSA President. So we don't mind him, you know :P
7/ Your best friends are the ones who don't expect you to change out of your pyjamas for them to come over. Louise and I ate Maxibons and it was a top weeknight. 
8/ I photographed AXP and before hand we took selfies at Viv's and she taught me how to make rice paper rolls. I love Viv's house, her Mum just feeds us all the food. It's amazing. 
9/ After AXP I was on my Green P's as of midnight so I drove everyone home. It was our last night with Tess before she left for Europe (She will be landing in Barcelona anytime now!) and we all got a bit of separation anxiety. 
10/ The next night, another After Exams Party, I wasn't working this night so I may have had a few glasses of Pink, and only tight lined one eye, which I realised after this selfie with Rianna at the train station haha. 
11/ We did the dance thing with the lights and the people and the sweat. It was fun and gross. I think we are getting a little old for it now. We're not in first year anymore Toto!
12/ We stayed up late in Rianna's room, the guys brought maccas over and then I got home just in time to see the sun. 

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Bring Colour To My Skies

I've been saving this little parcel of joy for a time when I felt the world needed it. And maybe for when I needed a key to unlock something. 

Today I read about Carly's ratty Hadley passing away, the day after our Sweetie passed. As she sent me this beautiful creation all the way from New York State, I thought today was the day the world needed a little extra glitter.

ps. I overestimated how hard it would be to crack the walnut, the hammer was not completely necessary but dramatic effect yeah? :P

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

Endings and Beginnings

First off I just want to say a huge thank you to all of you who comment on my blog and make me feel so honestly loved and supported. The comments on my last post at times made me want to cry. I was overwhelmed by your response and the understanding you all have of who I am, even though most of us only know each other through pixels. 

I feel so grateful for knowing each and every one of you. I've just gone and replied to your comments because the were so substantial I felt that they needed acknowledgement. Don't feel obligated to reply or anything, I just wanted you to all know that I appreciated your comments so much, as I always do. 

I don't know where to go next with this. It's been a hell of a week. I've had great peaceful times like this evening in photographs and then I've had times where I felt like a mess. Sometimes all at once. 
At the moment a lot in my life is ending and a lot is just beginning. That's exciting and scary all at the same time. 

Lets start with these photos. Tess and I just went for a walk down by the river in Warrandyte where I am moving soon (!!!) because we wanted to have a catch up before Tess leaves for three months to Europe on Friday. I wasn't too sad because I will see Tess at a party tomorrow night so it was just a lovely last catch up with us two before we say goodbye. 

Tess bought her Canon 60D for her mostly solo trip across the continent and I've really enjoyed tagging along as she learns to use it. She took all but two of these photos and I'm please as punch about them. I will miss her dearly but I'm so excited to follow her journey! 

Being in Warrandyte on such a beautiful evening got me so excited for all the new beginning and memories we will have in our new family home. The simple things, like what you look at when you wake up in the morning are what I'm looking forward to. Trees people, trees! 

At the same time, things are ending. Today the pup we had in my childhood passed away. I wrote about her and the story surrounding that here if you want to know sort of why she wasn't still living with us and how lovely she is. Anyway Sweetpea passed away today at age 15, I'll always smile at the thought of her, until I'm a very old lady.

These events are really symbolic of some emotional stuff (which I'd love to write about soon but it's really it's own post) I've been dealing with and I feel like everything is happening is a very serendipitous way.

I'm also ducking out of student life for the time being as I briefly mentioned which has been daunting. Honestly, it was your words and the growth I have made as a photographer through this medium that gave me the courage to finally sit down and tell my parents all that I want and communicate properly with them which has been daunting. And more importantly, it's given me the courage to be forward with myself about what I want and serious about how to get there. And I know, if I am going to make a real go of this life, my parent are my greatest allies and I am so much stronger with them on board. 

I feel so much relief, the response was that I am loved, that I am believed in and they are with me when they can be and I don't think I could ask for anything more. I say bring on 2015 and all the metaphorical business and creative mountains I am going to climb. 

More later and lots of love,
Meg x

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Photographer

Boy, does that word scare me.
Photography Student, Girl with a camera. Anything but that word.
Why do I have such an irrational fear of calling myself something?

Wanting to be something doesn't make it so. Med students don't go around calling themselves Doctors so what right do I have to a title I've done relatively little to earn?
I am so terrified to call it anything else, to talk shit when I know better. I am under no illusions about how much I have to learn. So so much to learn.

It's all shades of grey though. In an ideal world I wouldn't call myself anything. I'm just Meg and people will magically find me and pay me a lot to do something I love, I won't have to work hard at all or put my contact details anywhere to get any business and everything will be great, all my bills will be paid and I'll never have to think about tax. Yep. Adulthood is a breeze right?

Lately I've been sort of forward thinking about branding, and it honestly kills me to think about calling myself a photographer. But I need a plan and I need to keep moving. I would err on the side of caution and just call myself a photography student, but regardless of the fact that it screams "I don't think I'm very good, pay me below minimum wage" I've actually decided to take a break from Uni, for at least a year, so I'm not actually a student. (We can recount that internal crisis another time).

Changing my Instagram description from "Melbourne based photography student" to "Melbourne Based Photographer" physically pained me and like who am I kidding? I'm the only one who noticed haha. The point is, I feel like I'm disrespecting those who better deserve the title because I actually appreciate what it is to be an artist, how hard photographers work and how amazing some photographers truly are.

I probably sound mental to someone who is scientifically minded, and isn't very creative. It's probably as simple as "you take photos therefore you are a photographer" to an outsider. But when you spend 90% of your life looking at photos/ taking photos/ thinking about photos or lenses or cameras or light, but mostly, admiring the work of other photographers, it isn't really as simple. At least not for me.

James Day is a photographer, those men who work for channel Ten etc who come to rallies with unreasonable amounts of equipment strapped to them are photographers, the people who feature in Hooray are photographers. I am just a 20 year old girl, who at the age of 18 spent all the money she had on the best camera she could afford. Then got a little bit into her extremely misguided life plan designed to please and couldn't deny what she had really loved all along. I want to be a photographer.

And, not to publicly psychoanalyse myself further, but maybe it actually terrifies me because my totally unknown future as a creative terrifies me, and translating creativity into career is no easy task.

Self doubt will tear you apart. Self doubt has the potential to stop me from becoming as great at this beautiful art as I want to be, as I know I can be.

I have to get over myself and just do it. Lots of people are self taught, not everyone needs a piece of paper. I don't need a piece of paper to be great. I need more experience and I need to believe in myself and the path I'm on. Confidence, Cohen.

So I'm going to keep working on it, I'll let you know how it goes.

Lots of love,
Meg.
ps. points if you got the OC reference.

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Nostalgia

Taylor Swift makes me really nostalgic for when I was younger. I feel like I grew up with her. I had heartbreaks, realised people weren't worth worrying about, partied, broke up and was really never getting back together, matured in my thinking and the way I saw the world, all as I listened to each album. That sounds ridiculous because so did literally millions of other people but I don't know, I think that's why she is so great. I was listening to Tyler Oakley and Korey Kuhl's podcast Psychobabble dedicated to her and the release of her first all pop album the other day and I couldn't stop laughing and nodding my head at everything they said about Fearless and the personal development in Taylor's music. 

For someone who was Fifteen listening to Fifteen growing up in the country, and sang Our Song sitting on our lockers at school with all my best friends, Tyler and Korey were basically speaking to me. When I was 15 and then 17 I saw her in concert, and the second time I touched her hand as she embraced the crowd and all my friends laughed at me at school for how defining of a moment that was for my 17 year old self. Worth it. 

When Tyler said he listens to the Best Day and feels emotional about his Mum, well it became official. I am a Taylor tragic. How insane is it that people on the other side of the planet were feeling the same things listening to the same music as you long before you knew they even existed?? And now I'm 20, living in the city, listening to her sing pop songs that fit the pace of my life the way it is now. 

On a more serious note, but still happy, in the past months I've been continuing recovery. As some of you will know if you read this post, and others over the months, in about July and August, I started to make some really encouraging progress in terms of my anxiety. 

Today, I think there is still some way to go, but all humans have some way to go right?

However, I can't even express how grateful I am to be given back joy in my life. To be given back the urge to go on walks, to enjoy the sunshine, to dance to pop music. I can't explain how amazing it feels for me to go to dinner with just one other person, in a public place, and not even think about feeling anxious, or happy it makes me that when I get my Green P's, I will actually be able to take people in my car without freaking out. How exciting it is to go to parties where I don't know many people and chat to whoever I want.

Life is good. T Swizzle's album is great. 

Meg out!
x

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Life Links

Hey lovelies,

The days are getting longer and it's warm at 7pm. I'm sitting at my desk with new tunes and the setting sun streaming in. I've eaten my weight in fresh Walnuts and chocolate milk. I'm feeling inspired and free. I'm about to make a new mix CD for my car because I'm super cool.

So I thought I would share with you things that have made me smile and reminded me that there are great things to see and listen to in this world and more specifically on the internet

1. Firstly, because I'm downloading new music and kind of exploring what's good at the moment I thought I would link you guys to Jacksgaps playlist, I quite like when they share music, I find they are good songs for editing, or reading, sort of like quiet time music. And if it's not really your style, their website in general is an awesome place. They have a new video series out on their channel called following heart that is beautifully shot and edited.

2. I stumbled across this photographer, Joshua Mikhaiel, through following other photographers on Facebook and I fell in love with this family journal. I could look at these photographs for so long. I won't try to explain it, you can see for yourself!

3. My lovely friend Sam, it also a very talented photographer of families and the like, and I was so taken with her most recent shoot. I had to share it with you! The cuteness is almost too much!

4. I've recently come to love a fellow blogger on here who posts the most inspiring things. I really admire her individuality and the spark in her posts. This is a personal favourite of mine, but they are sort of all great haha. Do go say Hello to Jo if you've not yet read her blog :)

5. I thought this was a really cute cover of All About that Bass, and Dodie and Bribry are really lovely emerging artists. I thought it was interesting that they changed the lyrics that have been quite problematic in this song, and I think they did it quite well. They changed the line about 'skinny b******" to "skinny shamers". I think the overall intention of this song is a positive one. I know there is no excuse to put down one body type to put up another although I don't think that was the intention of the song, it's more of a critique of how society talks about bodies, but I understand how it comes across as such. Body shaming isn't cool in any context. It's also important to consider that 99% percent of mainstream media puts down larger bodies to promote smaller bodies, and in this being the opposite it has attracted a disproportionate amount of criticism for something that is all too common. But anyway I like this sort of positive take on the issue. What do you guys think about it?

6. Another blogging friend wrote a piece recently that really spoke to me and I appreciated it greatly. I have a feeling that Katie is a very amazing human being. Read about the lessons she has learned as a creative, here

She also recently shared her wedding on her blog that was photographed by another favourite blogger/photographer of mine and I fangirled a fair bit. The post is amazing and beautiful.

7. I've talked a little bit about filmmakers on the internet that I quite like. One of them is Ben Brown. I don't really have time to watch his daily videos anymore, but there was certainly a time when they were a staple of my day. He recently travelled to Canada and shot his 'Visual Vibes' which is a series on his channel. So he has daily Vlogs that are mostly shot on Canon Powershot, and then he makes higher quality videos of his travels and experiences using "big boy" equipment if you like. The Canada Visual Vibes left me a little speechless and very jealous. 

8. On the topic of filmmakers on Youtube, Jacksgap have been recently collaborating with Tim Kellner a fair bit and he is certainly one to watch out for. He posted a behind the scenes of working with Jacksgap in NYC that is certainly worth a watch. 

9. Lastly, I have been in love with the TV show Once Upon a Time at the moment. I have a long running affair with this show but the current season has really got me on board again. If you've never watched it, you are really missing out. I adore the interconnected plot lines and creative takes on conventional fairytales.

Lots of love,
Meg x